How to shake unhealthy financial anxiety from childhood?
Dear Carolyn: From when I was about 6 until I was 16, my parents had credit card debt that they were responsible about paying off. However, I think they were too transparent about it with us, their children. Every time I wanted to spend money on anything nonessential like a toy, an ice cream cone, a field trip or any school activity at all, I was told “that will blow the budget and we’ll be in debt longer. And that’s BAD.”
Because of that constant refrain, I developed crippling guilt about spending any money whatsoever. It was like my child brain concluded the dollar I wanted to spend on a candy bar was the reason my parents were enslaved to debt and constantly stressed. I am currently 26, have a good job and $30,000 in savings. I live in a cramped studio apartment, never treat myself to a vacation or dinner out because when I try to, my brain tells me “NO! If you spend that money you will end up in DEBT!”
I know I probably need therapy, but how can I convince myself to spend money on that when I can’t even let myself have a lunch out with co-workers on a Friday?
