((Nick Galifianakis for The Post))

Joint funds, right? So husband spent spouse’s hobby money.

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are both 29 and have been married for a few years. My husband’s approach to life is to enjoy life as much as possible and to work as little as possible. Our incomes are basically equal, and all money goes into one pot.

I decided to participate in a costly summer sport, so I have taken on side hustles for additional income to cover the costs. My husband has been supportive but does complain that I work too much and that he misses me.

When I went to pay my fees for the summer, I noticed that I barely had enough to cover the costs. My husband had calculated my fees and spent the rest of the money! For his own enjoyment — multiple meals out with friends, concert tickets and two massages. He sees no problem with this whatsoever, saying it is my choice to work those extra hours and all our money is joint.

I’m incensed. I worked the side hustles to pay for my expensive hobby and had planned to save the extra money for next year, so I wouldn’t have to work so hard. It seems really unfair that I worked additional hours so my hobby wouldn’t negatively impact us financially, then he just goes and spends it on fun?

We are talking past each other as he sees nothing wrong with what he did. I see everything wrong with it.

— All the Benefits, No Extra Work

Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below.

Introducing Say More, a new advice column from the Washington Post.

Say More will tackle your questions about relationships of all types: romantic, platonic, familial. Here’s a preview of one of the first columns:

Dear Say More: My husband and I have a good relationship with his parents. They live a plane ride away, and before we had kids, their home was a wonderful gathering place. However, ever since our oldest son has been mobile, we haven’t been able to visit.

My husband asked them to buy a gun safe for our visits, and they were not willing to do it. They refused to buy a safe and (after a couple years of failed negotiations) told my husband they were done talking about this. Their one concession has been to put most of their guns in a single closet, but that’s it. Time, money and hassle are not factors here. My husband’s dad just has a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of safe gun storage, and my mother-in-law knows she can’t change his mind.

This has now been the case for years, and we have never told my son why we don’t visit Nana and Pop’s house. I feel the years slipping away, and I genuinely miss our visits there. Plus, these are people who are wonderful (not to mention reasonable) in all other ways and so kind and loving with their grandkids! They do come and see us, or we meet in other places. How do I accept that this is never going to change?

— Can’t Visit