Hi Amil,
I have an almost-2-year-old daughter and am the oldest of four sisters. One of the unexpectedly hardest parts of becoming a mom has been the shift in my relationships with my three younger sisters, who don’t have children. We’re a very close-knit family, and telling my sisters I was pregnant was one of the happiest moments of my life.
My daughter had some health complications, and we spent the first few weeks in the NICU. When we got home, my family came to help and meet her, which was exactly what I needed. But many people with sisters will understand this: No one can trigger you quite like they can. During that time, there were a few comments that made me feel completely unseen as a new mom. Things as simple as “You should be so grateful” or comparisons to others who “just love being a mom” landed painfully when I was recovering from birth, processing a traumatic NICU stay, struggling to breastfeed, and feeling generally overwhelmed.
How do you navigate evolving relationships with siblings (or friends) who are in a completely different stage of life — especially when you still deeply love each other and want to stay close?