| Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My wife and I are getting divorced. Due to uncontrolled anger (never violent) on my part and poor communication between us. Me getting angry and yelling, then stopping, she forgiving me, us getting better. It starting again. Somehow, she never found a way to break through to me about how bad things were, or I didn’t listen. I knew things weren’t great, but I didn’t realize they were this bad. I never meant to hurt her and realize it’s not just about my anger — it’s about the pattern we fell into. Even if I got my anger under control, we can’t risk staying in a relationship and falling back into the pattern. I understand that. But now I’ve lost everything and have to suddenly start over. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can. What do I do next? Even if I get my anger under control, if I start dating again, what do I say — my first marriage ended because I became my wife’s abuser, but don’t worry, I’ve got my anger under control, and it won’t happen again? How do I go on or recover from this? — I’m a Monster |
