| Dear Carolyn: My husband and I got engaged last August, but as of January, we hadn’t made any concrete wedding plans. We got the idea of getting married at the inn where we were spending Valentine’s weekend. It was great, they arranged everything (officiant, flowers, photographer). I had nabbed a gown at a sample sale, and my husband had his suit, so we were set. It was a perfect wedding for us: romantic, intimate and low-key. Neither set of parents was happy when they found out we’d eloped, but they all started looking forward to the big reception we are going to throw in April. The dilemma we’re facing is that all the parents have strong opinions on the party that are very different from our ideas. They want a say in who should be invited, what we should wear — they want us in our wedding outfits — what we should serve, the music, etc. One of us thinks there is room for compromise here since we did the wedding all our way. The other thinks this is a “begin as you mean to go on” situation — don’t let the parents think they have a say in our lives by giving them control of a party we’re paying for. We have to start putting down deposits and making decisions about the party. How do my husband and I decide on a course of action? — At an Impasse | 
