| Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I are both 25, have been together for four years and have been living together for almost two. We both work full time in the same field, different companies. He’s my best friend, and I love doing things with him, but I’m worried about our future. We both want marriage and kids someday, but I recently started wondering if he’s going to be a good father and equal partner in raising kids. Eighteen months ago, he decided to adopt a puppy and, after a little bit of discussion, I was on board, too. Even though it was his idea and he says he grew up with dogs, I had to research how to train the dog and teach him. I take care of the vet appointments, 90 percent of the walks and everything else. When I ask him to step up, he does, but only for a few days, maybe a week, then things are back to how they were. It’s become a pattern since we moved in together. I’m the one who does most of the chores, plans all our vacations, date nights, hikes, etc. I’ve discussed this with him several times and, just like with the dog, he gets better for a week, then falls back into his old pattern. To me, it’s looking like he is happy to be in a relationship but doesn’t want to put much effort into it. I keep imagining having a baby and having to take care of everything myself. I know I’m looking far in the future, but is this a reason to break up now? Or try counseling or something? — What Now? |
